9 Top Tips for Surviving the Holiday Season with your Teenager

Author and behavioural expert Gill Hines shares her top tips to guarantee a stress free holiday season with teenagers with some Christmas parenting advice.

1. Spend time before Christmas making plans.

Try to get everyone to identify his or her priorities and create a shared plan in a family meeting. Allow some give and take. If your teen has been invited to a party on Christmas night, insisting they stay home with Gran will not make for a happy day for anyone. Let them go on the understanding that they then spend Christmas Eve and Boxing Day at home.

2. Celebrate being a family.

Send a DVD to friends and family, a music compilation, a photo blog of the year – whatever. Get the whole family involved.

3. Be fair to yourself.

Who said you have to have 14 vegetables for Christmas lunch or hand embossed place settings? The magazines lie! If you love making table centres out of pinecones and fake snow – go for it, but don’t do it for everyone else – do it just for you.

4. Delegate well in advance.

Make sure all the key tasks are divided up between the family and everybody knows what they have to do. Don’t wait till Christmas morning – they may well be in a grumpy mood if all their expectations have not been met or if they are somewhat overwhelmed. If they want to negotiate with a sibling to swap table clearing with sandwich making that’s their business. If you are the really organised type or have a lot of people in the house – draw up a chart!

5. Don’t overdo the gifts.

Let the kids know there is a (price?) limit and that within that they may choose. Encourage more than one choice so that there is there is still some element of surprise involved when they are opening their gifts. Believe it or not it is the young person who has not been given everything they want that is most grateful for what they get! If they are at that age when all they want is money don’t buy them masses of gifts as well – and keep the cash at a sensible level with boundaries applied such as ‘no age inappropriate DVDs or games in the house even if it is your money’.

6. Plan any TV viewing in advance.

Record anything that clashes or that individuals want but the group doesn’t rather than allowing everyone to go off into their own rooms. Be prepared to compromise – football and a weepy film or neither!

7. Play games.

No matter how old or young the group there is good old-fashioned fun to be had with some silly game playing, even if they are never going to admit it. There are some great alternatives – quiz games, board games, world domination games, and luck games. Maybe get one especially for the purpose and choose it together or go for an old favourite like charades. If there’s a lot of you go for something in teams – small kids get bored if they have to wait too long for a go.

8. Be thankful.

We all have so much at Christmas that we might forget that not everyone everywhere has what we have. Find a way to share some reflection and be thankful. A friend of mine and her family visit a local homeless shelter every year after lunch for a couple of hours to play games and chat. If you live near a hospital drop in a cake together or take a toy to the children’s ward, or a card or plant to an old people’s home? A card or a plant perhaps. Something to remind you and yours that we are very fortunate.

9 . If your teen is going out ensure that they are adequately supervised for their age – even if this means doing it yourself.

If you are worried about their safety consider hosting a small event yourself to keep them home and happy. E.g. two best friends over for a sleepover on Christmas night or even a camp (in the garden!) If they are under 16 and drinking make sure they have at least one sober member of the group- ideally a responsible adult. Bear in mind that where alcohol is concerned not all adults are responsible and it’s not just an age thing.